I try every year to have a good garden, thinking I will do all this canning and freezing that will reduce our grocery bill to near zero. I convince my husband that if we plant all these seeds (6 varieties of tomatoes, 4 varieties of peppers, 1/2 an acre of green beans...) that we will be virtually self-sufficient. My garden could quite possibly take care of all our financial needs! Then with the extra, we could do Farmer's Market (ha, ha, ha). Yes I will have time to weed it! Plus the kids are getting older and they are actually capable of some real help now, so you (Michael) won't even notice the two acres of tomatoes and fifty rows of green beans. (I forget that I really don't even like canned OR frozen beans).
When the seeds arrive our basement is filled with grow lights and tray after tray of seeds in their cute little pods. Then they sprout and grow and need to be repotted. Then we run out of space, we run out of lights, and from the outside it looks like I'm growing marijuana in the basement. I never seem to remember that 100 tomato plants is slightly more than we need. I figure there will be some lost to disease, drought, or pests. Not so... they NEVER die. In fact, I believe some tomato plants enjoy a good flogging (Right, April?)
True to self, this year is no exception. I just got home from a day spent with a group of wonderfully garden-wise ladies, including April, my garden guru. (you are such an inspiration to me, April, but you do tend to fuel my mission-creep!) I think this year will be our biggest garden yet. (I hope you're reading this, Michael, so you have a chance to cool down before you come home!) I have LOTS of zucchini, dill (it looks like about 500 seeds of dill- Who did that to me??)collards, brussels sprouts, celery (April says, yes I CAN grow it), 1/2 lb of green bean seeds, purple beans, yellow beans, sugar snap peas, snow peas, orange peppers, acorn squash, spinach, brandywine tomatoes, scallions, rainbow carrots, regular carrots (note: my carrots are STILL in the garden from last summer!) parsley, leeks, two kinds of cucumbers, more kinds of lettuce than I care to list (I think there is at least 5 varieties in this bag), eggplant (I have NO idea why, it sounded good in January), two kinds of green peppers, Bok Choy, Rutabagas (for Mark Pelzer, his from last summer are hanging out with the carrots) more tomatoes, Watermelon (I haven't a clue where to plant it. Maybe at YOUR house!) cherry tomatoes, tomatillos, cabbage, Roma tomatoes, pumpkins, buttercup squash, cilantro, basil, lipstick peppers, jalepenos, black crim tomatoes, and radishes. Now... the flowers! I have Lemon balm (I think that's an herb, not a flower), Calendula, Sunflowers, Euphorbia (does anyone know what this is? I said I would take it because it sounded good. You know, like euphoria? I like that state of mind, so hopefully these little plants will bring me joy). Zinnias, Love-lies-bleeding, and LOTS of morning glories (they do make me happy).
I admit it. I have a problem.
I get the seed catalogs in January and I somehow forget how blasted hot it is in August and how unbelievably fast and adaptable those weeds are. I also forget the passive-aggressive, not very subtle, non-verbal fights Michael and I have while weeding into the night in complete silence. I know the only reason he is doing it is to salvage at least a portion of his investment. It is NOT because he enjoys gardening. It is likely also because he loves me and wants to see my visions succeed. I forget that I HATE the feeling of dirt drying on my hands (does anyone else suffer from this phenomenon?). I forget that I plant eight rows of peas, eat a few while weeding, maybe fix a couple stir-fries, then the rest dry up on the vine (again, I love them fresh, not frozen).
I think what I love is dreaming.
I love to plan and think about what we could do if... I love the idea of having row after row of well manicured plants. I love the idea of doing it all ourselves. I can't say I love actually DOING it. This is where the fear begins to set in...
Honey... our garden is here... We will have plenty... the kids will help... it will be (gulp) worth it...
I love you Michael. You're my finisher.
Anyone need tomatoes?
26 comments:
Oh, Kris, you can't help yourself, you are your father's daughter. Remember the year he was going to build me a bookshelf for Christmas? (a surprise?) Soon I could barely get into my parking space, edging around the carefully draped cuboid shapes. You don't remember the year we decided to make apple pies to freeze, but before we were done, we had 20 some pies. We DID eat all of those. Or the first year we made salsa, and he didn't know that halapenos could get from your hands to the bath water, and from there to other very tender areas. And the time we tried to "husk" the black walnuts before they were dry. I'm glad I didn't have a job then, because BOTH our fingers looked like we had been playing in poop. And it lasted for days! It's in your blood. You're a visionary!
Oh, good. See, Michael, it's not my fault!
I'm totally with you there, kris! I love to plan and scheme all day long..but it's rare that they don't peter out somewhere along the line. I think what you and I both need is an endless supply of cheap expendable labor....April's right, you should have more kids....or become a pharaoh.
also, dirt drying on my hands drives me CRAZY!!!
What? Mission creep??? Oh contrare! No one ever accused me of going a little overboard... or did they?! Well, as I have learned from my mom... if you're going to do something, do it in a BIG way. :-)
I can't wait to get my imported dirt so I can get those little seeds growing on their way. And dirt smells so good... especially this time of year. Ahhhh. And even though I HATE mud season (some people laughingly call it "spring"), I can't wait until it dries up enough to fire up the tiller and walk barefoot in the freshly turned earth. I'll be out there, ya betcha!
So, throw those concerns of weeds and flood and drought from your mind. Enjoy the dreaming. Look forward to those little green shoots. Smell the oniony scent as the leeks poke their fine grassy stems up into the atmosphere. Dream of Bob, Larry, and that poor leek with no name. This is what keeps us Minnesotans going through the frigid months of beautiful white landscape (cold, though it is). To summer! To gardening! To participating in God's awesome creation!
Oh, and as for the dirt drying on your skin... GLOVES--they are a wonderful invention! Those rubber coated knit ones are GREAT! I can even weed a carrot row with them on!
I think you need to watch a few episodes of Good Neighbours to get you in the swing of things!
When I grow up I want to be a pharoah. April shouldn't you be in bed? 1 am is WAY past your bedtime!
I'm only really awake at night. The rest of the time I am only half there. :-) So, 1:00 AM works pretty well for this night owl. Besides, everyone else is asleep and I can THINK!
You keep programmer's hours, April.
Let me just say....
First, you are all insane!!!
Vegetables come form your friends gardens, don't they?
Second, you are all insane!!! Friends don't let friends get dirt on their hands, do they?
Third, you are all insane!!!
I thank God each and everyday that you are my insane ones. Tell the rest of the world you are spoken for. You make me smile, I claim you as my own.
What do you mean you don't like dirt drying on your hands? What about all that time we spent in the woods playing in the mud. Did that not prepare you for such a time as this?
I do also believe you need serious help!!!! Michael I will be praying for you!!!! So Sorry we didn't know!
Lisa, I think you've been hanging around with us too much. We're starting to rub off on you. Don't you know you were supposed to influence US? I think you and I should sneak over to April's garden (or better yet, her root cellar, I'm sure she has one) later this year. We'll have clean hands.
Penny, I remember once when I came to pick up Kris from your house you told me that your mommy had washed all Krissy's clothes that day. Neither Carol nor Kris would have told me that.
Yay!!! Lissa has come out to play! And you can give up on the root cellar... I want one, but it hasn't happened yet. Uh oh. Just remembered I left some pumpkins in Mom and Dad's basement. Orange goo, anyone?
I love this! Almost all my friends are here. this is an awesome way to stay in touch. Like having virtual coffee! (Or diet pepsi/diet coke, whatever your caffeinated beverage of choice is...)
Isn't that ironic, here I am with newly built root and wine cellars and nothing to store....
yeah, Kris, it's like your birthday party all the time.
My dad built a root cellar when I was a kid. I don't remember it really working well. It turned out to be just a very dangerous hole in the pasture...
Mom, maybe you can flush out some details on that project!
My dad built a root cellar when I was a kid. I don't remember it really working well. It turned out to be just a very dangerous hole in the pasture...
Mom, maybe you can flush out some details on that project!
Kris, I hate to tell you this, but you're repeating yourself. I think you need some coffee. A chai tea latte for me, thank you.
April! What are you still doing up??? It's LATE! I'm up because I have to, I'm at work...
Very slow here at the hospital.
Correct me if I am wrong, isn't a slow day at the hospital a good thing?
I quiet night is generall considered a good thing for the cummunity and society as a whole, but NOT FOR THE NURSE WHO HAS TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT!!! We prefer a little "action"...
Just revisiting this post after you mentioned it last night. OH MY! This is a great post, and there are some hilarious comments on here! I hope that you're not freaking out right now. Have you checked out the picture of all the seeds spread across the table on my blog (it's very artful :-)--I have them all nicely organized now in that bin and it'll all be OK.
But as for Laura's comment on being a pharaoh... hmmm, this may merit some consideration. I've tried the kid thing... they tend to not be as helpful as one would wish.
Wow, Kris, can I have your life? And your friends? And your family? Please? Or at least can I watch? lol this post made me happy and sad all at once because, not gonna lie, I'm a little jealous of your insanity!
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