Michael, Matthew and Hannah are gone for most of the day at a JBQ meet. That leaves me alone with the two little boys. It's kind of nice to be able to spend time alone with them. They often don't get much focussed attention when we are homeschooling. They get directed to their toys, a snack, a (gasp!) movie... right now John is next to me, playing with his ear, sucking on his finger, and rubbing his face on my arm. Getting his mommy time. Earlier, he and Joshua endured my "guitar playing", if you could call it that. I entertained them with classics like "The Wheels on the Bus", "Baby Beluga", and "Chicken Lips and Lizard Hips" (my personal favorite).
Last night I struggled through and sang badly "How Great is Our God". It was a proud moment for me! I wish I would have inherited the music talent, but I didn't. However, I did inherit the love of music and the desire to sing and worship. How frustrating it is for me to have the song in my heart and not be able to sing it. Those of you who can sing and sound good, or play an instrument effortlessly, I applaud you. Sing to the Lord a new song. Worship the King with your voices, bring to Him an offering of praise with your harps, lyres, or kazoos. I will be singing along, trying to follow your lead. I will strum softly, so only the Lord can hear.
My only desire is to bring Him an offering of praise. To be in His presence, to know the Creator and King on a deeper and more intimate level. I want to teach my children, above all else, a love and fear of the Lord. I want our home to be an atmosphere of prayer and worship, where Jesus is revered and honored and glorified. Just so you know, the music ain't pretty, and the sound is sometimes painful. However, it is from my heart.
4 comments:
don't worry kris i can't sing either. When i'm at church i sing along with everyone but i hope that no one can hear me.
Yay! My computer works! There is something about music that sort of bypasses the intellect, and goes right to/from the heart. I remember Earl Stodden saying how when he first got into "praise and worshipping God" he couldn't carry a tune in a basket, but the more he sang the better he got. That isn't the goal, but it's a nice extra. And really, your voice is very soft and lovely. Think about Louis Armstrong and that guy from Third Day. They have such gravelly sounding voices, but we still love to hear them sing.
Sarah, you and I will just have to sit together. Must be hard to live with Tom, Mr Music. I know Michael is so musical, he picks up any instrument and can play it. When I play guitar, it reminds me of the rubber band/shoe box guitars from elementary school...
But, I AM getting better!! Yay!
On a funny note, sometimes when I try to play songs for John, who LOVES music and sings all the time, he says, "No thanks". Surprisingly, I am not hurt by that.
I wish I had your heart about things. For reals.
I have the "you pick it up you can play it" gene but sometimes I am very selfish about my music. I need to get to the point where my only desire is to bring a song of worship to my King, I do desire to worship. I love to play worship. I have a hard time worshipping in church because my musical ear is so dang critical that I think "I wouldn't play it like that" or "that strum is doesn't fit" and sometimes I can't get beyond that. Its like the stick the enemy throws in the wheel of my little worship bike. I just can't move forward when its there.
Its a curse really. I want to just be able to let go and worship the Lord, I need to be able to let go and worship the Lord. I love to sing praises to Him, I hope my heart is humble about it and that He can receive praise from me.
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