Would anyone like a "do-over"? I think my biggest regret of my life is how much time I wasted being dissatisfied. As I look back at our marriage, my career, my role as a mom, and my faith, this is what has derailed me over and over. Almost 5 years ago, after the sudden death of my dad at age 57, I woke up. Nothing like losing someone you love to help you re-evaluate your goals and direction! I realized that the bottom line was that my career would never be remembered by my children. How clean my house was would never be remembered by my friends (or the neighbors!). What I wore, what I drove, and how much money I had was completely meaningless. They are things that pass away.
My transformation was not instant. We Americans expect things instantly and easily. We are a remote control, microwave people who expect God to behave that way. It took me years to learn He doesn't. He is faithful, though. I look back on myself as someone who always wanted more. Once I got what I wanted, I wasn't happy with that, I was on to something else. I'm thankful my husband is generally content and demands very little or we wouldn't have lasted 6 months! Ironically his contentedness drove me crazy... now I appreciate it as a gift.
So, 5 years ago I had 2 children enrolled in the local school. I was working hard on my career, we were planning a beautiful new home, our dream house. We were living the dual career typical American lifestyle. Then God began to lead us gently down a different path...or perhaps I just started to listen to that still, small voice.
20 comments:
Kris, That sounded like an opening paragraph. don't leave me hanging here, I hate suspense! what happened to this woman and her wonderful family?
do-overs are good, but can we fast forward the boring parts? Like, I love the parts where I graduate from college, or get a big paycheck or my kid FINALLY sees the light (gives his life to the Lord), but I tend to lose focus when I have to sort out assignments and schedules, and get up early to pray and go to work and do stuff over and over again. I'm thinking God hasn't quite taught me patience yet. There are words and actions I would really like to take back. My prayer now is, "Lord let me not waste precious hours and breaths on things that don't further your kingdom." But I'm not there yet. Spiritual frozen pizza, that's what I keep looking for.
How did you choose the name "The Good Life?" It reminds me of Chuck Colson's most recent book, which actually he called his opportunity to pass on what he has learned as a Christian to others. As he reflects back on his life, remembering what his goals were starting out, and what he actually realizes now was of value. He does this by telling stories of people, their lives, the choices they made (bad and good) and how it worked out.
Anyway, I was also thinking this morning, of years that I have lost,
because after God delivered us from poverty and alcoholism, we chose the "low risk" path. Being normal, sending our kids to public school (cheaper, not wierd), staying in the same church, (bad theology, nice people, not wierd) and getting a mortgage instead of paying off our debt. (What was
wrong with living with rats? They don't eat much.) What I wonder about, is if our kids would have become closer to God and sooner if we had really trusted Him more. But God has promised to restore the years that the locust
has eaten.
or rats as the case may be . . .
Isn't it great when we FINALLY get to the place of letting go of the stupid thigs we have done, big and little, and just MOVE ON. I think that's what the good life is about. Take what you have and choose to love it and be thankful for it.
Hey
you have inspired me to blog too. My blog is not NEARLY as profound as yours is, probably because I don't have any kids. Anyway, check out my blog sometime.
http://laura-bora.blogspot.com/
How inspiring! These are things I've been thinking quite a lot about lately, especially after being abroad. Thanks for sharing, and I too look forward to the rest of the story.
P.S. I especially liked the part about money being meaningless. Is it okay to refer my student loan sharks to your blog?
I like the name of your blog too but it reminds me of good neighbors. and isn't it true, we do have a good life, and it's wierd and that's okay. I just heard Beth Moore say on my bible study video that one thing God doesn't call any of us to is to be like everybody else.
so, "here's to the good life"
actually that comment was valerie, not scott
So I don’t think that the individually happiness and the community one are separated.
Because reading your article we can think one side is the community one, having a job, paying taxes, spending money, rising kids being a normal family and all this kind of things makes that the community is living in happiness. This view of happiness is based on a lot of “standard life model” to make the global system working.
On the over side you have the individually happiness, mainly offered by churches, it tells you to get rid of meaningless things (like money for example, and if you don’t need why not giving it to them?...) to make peace inside of you, to pray a lot etc…
But individually happiness participates to community one, for example the Bible asks you to be gentle (according to it to be able to go to paradise) so you are behaving gently, and it’s easier for the community to control the individual when he is docile.
Community happiness is also a part of individually happiness because the main argument of communities is “find your place in the community, help it to find happiness and by that way find your personal happiness”…
So, in my humble point of view, those two kinds of happiness are not separated those are strictly linked. And finding the global happiness is correctly linking those two ones and building our identity.
Talking about philosophy in a foreign language is very hard because, an important part philosophy is mastering language and choosing correctly words so I hope everyone will understand the idea I’m trying to express…
Vincent,
I want to comment more on your thoughts when I have more time to be philosophical. Initially what stands out to me is the value you place on community. Individualism is something probably more American than religious or Christian. I don't think governments have been very successful at encouraging Christianity as a means to control people, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe Michael would like to comment more on that. He's is the expert on Church history and the history of Europe. I admit, my knowledge of history is fairly limited.
I do think that one must first decide if he believes or aknowledges a living God, creator of the universe and whether or not he still exists. The Bible does not command us to be a people who are gentle in order to enter the kingdom of heaven. We must first receive Christ as savior, acknowledging or sinfulness and need of a savior, submitting our own selves to Him. We cannot DO amything in order to gain entrance to heaven. Gentleness, kindness, peace, patience, and joy are the result of Christ in us. The fruit of the Spirit. They come later... and are evidence of true faith in a living God.
Ok so first of all I'm not talking particularly about America and Christianity but about every way of life based on happiness by community and every relegions.
I was also not talking about doing good things to go to haeven (Christianity did this mystakes in 15XX's and that created the protestants).
But if you analyse each religion the main thing you can find in each one is "there is a life after life" and generaly it's something like heaven (only buddhists think there is another life after life but in our world)
Other thing you can find in the most of religions is "behave yourself to go in our heaven" so it helps communities (not just governments but a large part of every kind of communities) to keep the population calm and under control.
History is full of exemple of it
Constantin (he became christian to keep his power, and Christianity helped him to govern his kingdom)
Clovis the first (first French King to convert to Christianity because he wanted to keep under control an important part of his population)
You took the Christ in you, that maked you gentle, kind... that also increased your individually happiness.
But that also maked you docile, imagine if I or you or someone else , was able to improve that there is nothing after life, the way of living of the world community would be profoundly modified no?
So that was (from the begining of this reply) to illustrate how individually happiness and religions can be used by the community happiness...
The only religion i know a little bit and which doesn't ask something for the life after life is buddhism (I'm not very sure of it)
To conclude this reply you say that american government doesn't do so much things to help Christianity but every two mounths your president visit the pape...
Kris, you amaze me! This is the beginning of an amazing blog and the continuation of an amazing journey. To my sister in friendship and Christ--you go, girl!
Love ya lots! April
Sorry I misunderstood you, Vincent. I think I understand what you're saying now. It has been said that all people must be governed, either from within, through faith, or from without. Which would be the enforcement of laws. I suppose there are only those two ways to control societies. I prefer to self-govern through my faith than have to come under the rule of law. I think it is more effective, too.A change of heart works far better than threats from governing authorities.
In my humble opinion!
Yes I was saying that there is two way (or maybe more) to be governed and those are deeply linked to the way to find happiness too.
I think a life without government, without laws and rules would be hard to live. Communities are here to help people to build (create or do) things they can't do alone. For example you need highways, schools (ok you teach your kids yourself but a lot of people need schools), public healhcare, food (so supermarkets) etc...
I agree with you, it's better behaving good by ourself without needing someone to remember how to behave.
It also costs the government a lot less money so we pay less taxes!! Yay!
I'm not a very profound thinker or speaker...not my gift. But I do want to say that I love the things you've posted and identify/agree wholeheartedly.
Lisa! I miss you!
Kris, you just made my day. I love your garden, and I agree, It all sounds so wonderful in theory. Our garden is only 10x10 and my gardening enthusiasm starts to drop off as soon as it's hot enough for me to sweat while I weed. i.e. the first day of July. right about when the garden starts to have stuff in it.
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