Sunday, August 10, 2008

No Doubt About It... I'm a Farm Girl!


I have to warn you... this post may be gruesome. Men won't want to read it at all. Alright, you've been warned.

It all started July 5th when we got a call from the local FFA director asking us if we would take the three little pigs from the kiddie barnyard at the Cannon Falls Fair. We didn't want them, but we took them. (that's another story...) Anyway, it turns out that one of the pigs we didn't want was an intact boar, meaning he needed to be castrated in order for the meat to be any good. Usually this is done when the pigs are 2 days old as they are smaller and MUCH easier to handle. After the events yesterday, we agree that this IS the best way to do it.

After the discoverery of "the twins", we began to discuss our dilemma with various farm gurus we thought might be willing to help us out and perform the "procedure". As time went on, we realized we might just be on our own here so we best study up. Michael did research on how to best de-masculinate the poor guy and I shopped for supplies. At least my 3 yrs in the operating room proved of some value! We decided Saturday was "D-day" and we got up early expecting a long morning of hog wrestling. I called all the neighbors to warn them of the almost assured blood curdling screams they might hear and that no one was being murdered on our property (though Matthew argues a bullet to the head would be preferable in his book). We left the kiddos safe in the house watching the Olympics and set out for hog wrestling.

Michael used a garbage can to corner and catch him. Head first in the garbage can then tipped upside-down. Next grab the back legs and tie up to a beam on the ceiling of the barn. We left him with front feet touching the ground, but still in the garbage can so he couldn't kick around so much. I got my soap and scrub bucket, donned my gloves and prepped our patient. Next, a betadine paint to the surgical site and then the pig pooped. Several times. Ok, so I cleaned and prepped as best I could, got my scalpel, prepared to make the incision, and froze. "You do it." I said to Michael. "No." was all he said and I knew I was it. Yikes! I've never done anything like this before! I began thinking about the blood, what if I could find them, what if I really hurt the poor piggy, and maybe it would be easier and more humane to just shoot the pig and be done with it.

After much deliberation about the best technique according to Michael's research, I made the first cut. Not as easy as I thought. I had to go through three layers and chase them around a bit before I finally got the first one out. It worked, one out, one to go. As I was rejoicing, Michael had to go lay down in the grass for a while.

"Hey! Come back and help me!" I yelled. He did come back and hold one leg that slipped out of the rope and I made the second incision. He left again. I waited, got the next one out easily, then did a final scrub with betadine and let Mr. Bacon free. There was virtually no blood. I was amazed! We checked on him several time throughout the day and he seemed tired, but fine. He does seem absolutely docile when I'm around him, though! As though he is saying, "I submit!"

I never want to do this again, but we felt pretty proud that we were able to perform our own vet procedure with success and feel we have earned our "farmer" badges.

I am sure we will laugh about this years later...

12 comments:

Julie Hedeen said...

Of course we, safely down the road and looking forward to our sausages, can laugh now! This could be a third career for you!

Amber E said...

Wow! I could NOT do that. It sounds exhausting and stressful but still, you did it! That must count as one of the most bizarre things you've ever done. Mr. Bacon is a cute name.

Julie Hedeen said...

I think it helps to have access to a scalpel--and betadine! Better than a pocket knife and whiskey!

Kristen said...

LOL about the most bizarre things I've ever done!! Too funny! I think I must write about the most bizarre things I've ever done because I don't think it was. Let's see...
Washing our laundry in the lake at the Boundary waters to see if I could do it, Sutured my dog's ear back on, Smuggled a tetanus shot home for my husband who stepped on a nail, got the kedys out of a Dodge Caravan ignition via the rear vent window and a long pole with a hangar on the end, I did have a baby at home on purpose, painted the whole inside of my house in a week and stenciled, started many little business ventures that failed, made my own beet wine to see if I could do it ( I think it was 100 proof... one sip made your head buzz!) It tasted like dirt flavored gasoline. I could go on and on. I am sure my mother will add some I forgot. I'm always happy to provide y'all with entertainment.

Kristen said...

Ronda and I rescusitated a goldfish through prayer and thorough washing and it lived for years.
I think I would like to say that my outlook on life is that nothing is impossible!

Amber E said...

Okay, I am now official inspired. (Not to go castrate anything) but just hey, with everything you did I'm empowered just reading about it. Hey, are you guys catching the Olympics? I always love it.

Kristen said...

Matthew has become an Olympic addict. He has a hard time doing to bed because he might miss something. Last night it was gymnastics, so everyone in our house (except me) suddenly thought they were gymnists... nothing got broken thankfully!

Tracy said...

Your pig tale (once he seemed fine that is) and your list of bizarre things has put me into a 5 minute giggle session ... :)

Julie Hedeen said...

Ok I won't even mention trying to put out a MAJOR fire with several glasses of water (walk in casually, act thirsty, race to the fire and dump your little cup of water on it--don't want to make Mom nervous!) What in the world does anyone find interesting about watching people jump around in their underwear half a world away? It certainly ties up the TV a lot!

Amber E said...

We love the swimming and gymnastics at our house. And we also saw some volley ball too. Usually I could not care less about sports but there is something about the Olympics where I get all sentimental and into it. I kept Mom up last night we kept hoping for a that despite having some of their best players out from injuries for the US Women's Gymnastics. Even so we are very proud of them and think they are talented.

Actually, I was really impressed with that lady who is in her 30's and is on the German team. There was this whole long back story about how she was on the Soviet gymnastic team in 1992, she had to go to Germany to be able to get Leukemia treatments for her son and she is now back in the Olympics. It's amazing she stayed in shape enough to do it.

Amber E said...

Aunt Julie,
Lol about putting out fires. I mean it would have been scary at the time but it is funny now.

Unknown said...

Wow, fo course you won your "farmer badge", congrats!
Like Amber I think I could not do that, not because of blood (ok there was no blood, but seeing blood do not disturb me) but because cutting animals is, yuk, discusting for me...
So congrats it was not an easy thing to do and you did it well (pig is alive)